smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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