Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Randomize
