Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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