So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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