I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Randomize
