Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
