The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
