just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
