I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
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