i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
