i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Randomize
