i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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