New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
