She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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