last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
