i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
