I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize
