I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
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