this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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