also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
