; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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