I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
