I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
