Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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