I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
