Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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