hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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