I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
