It's like God shit irony all over that family
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
