btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
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