mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Randomize
