She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
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