I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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