I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
