I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Randomize