i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
