you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
this will be a night to untag.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
