"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Randomize