there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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