your thong is hanging out like whoa
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
