K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
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