How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
