I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
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