the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
