Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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