I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
