Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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