doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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