Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
