Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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