Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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